I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Are we still banned from the library?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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