She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
