Jerry, you need to find god
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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