Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
