It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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