I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
