That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
