Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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