did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
