HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
