I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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