well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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