every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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