The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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