You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
