hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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