Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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