His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
