We won't sleep together?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
vagina is talking i cant
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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