there's paper in my vomit.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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