I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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