so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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