Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
