This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize