Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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