sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
