sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
