this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
