i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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