Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
