don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize