its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
