yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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