ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
