I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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