It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
