it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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