I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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