my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
