just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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