I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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