marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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