She is in my trunk
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
