therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
