When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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