Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
