what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
