I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just had sex bonerless
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
