If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
