is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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