kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
