yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
