So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
