super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
