So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
