i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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