I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Mom said you looked used
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
