ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize