Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
ok first of all what the fuck
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
