they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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