You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
