just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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