508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
