Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My cat gives me a boner
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
