super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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