I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
