she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
