My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
