I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
