You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
