i was born a porn star she said
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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