Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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