Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
