Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize