Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
