two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
