New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
